[I am only at the beginning of my journey to recovering myself, claiming myself, of my journey to freedom. Many of the shackles that were put on me in the past, by uninformed, unconscious or highly abusive parenting practices when I was a child, have yet to be undone. But being able to write these blog posts, is so freeing. I pray for the experience of freedom, lasting freedom, for myself and for all of you. Freedom to be wholly who we are and who we were meant to be. Freedom to do what we were meant to do.
Cherish the glimpses of freedom, for they are what lead to lasting freedom. Seek an experience of an embodied sense of freedom — when you have a feeling in your body of what it’s like for your soul to be free .
For me, feeling safe, feeling loved, and feeling those things in my body, have needed to come first before I could experience a sense of embodied freedom. Because my parents didn’t know what love was, I didn’t have an experience of being loved, wholly, in my childhood. What has helped me to have this experience has been therapy — good therapy — not with just anyone but with someone specializing in trauma and attachment, PTSD and, especially, dissociation, and working with the body in all of that. And maybe more importantly, therapy with someone who is quite whole herself.
The other thing that has helped me to experience safety and love, in my body, is developing my sense of spirituality. I define spirituality as my relationship with all that is around me. But you don’t have to define it that way. More recently, I have benefited immensely from developing a relationship with God and from prayer. God, for me, is oneness. But you don’t have to define God in that way.
Below is a short poem I wrote about Freedom calling to me.
Be whole. Be free.
Freedom Calls to Me, Now
Owned, judged, shamed,
Freedom calls to me, now
I was blinded, deafened, made mute
But I hear freedom call to me, now
I see freedom call to me, now
I know freedom calls to me, now
My wings unclipped,
I fly towards freedom, now
Nothing can stop me now.
I pray that
Freedom comes to me, now.