This quote by Aspen Matis (Girl in the Woods) spoke to me. It captures some of the twists and turns of the mind of someone who has been violated and altered by abuse. And it underscores the role of listening to the body. The aftermath of abuse is not simple.
I asked my rapist to sleep over after he raped me. I was trying to retroactively correct what happened because to say you’ve been raped is to acknowledge your life is forever different. But you know in your body what has happened. It’s too huge a secret to hold inside yourself. Calling it a rape take the shame out of you. – Aspen Matis