Sacred Struggle

Trigger warning – the following contains reference to violence in childhood and describes a binge eating episode.  Please take care of yourself. ________________ During the weekend I struggled with some depression that had me flat on my back in bed for many hours.  I was upset and disappointed, because it caught me off guard as…

Walls

In my early adulthood, I was an utterly shattered and lost soul because of the abuse I experienced as a child and growing up in my family home. I had no sense of being worthy and powerful on the inside or of being able to protect myself and my boundaries. I didn’t know I had…

Repost: When You Reach for Help, Are You Loving or Abandoning Yourself?

  I wanted to share this fabulous article by Dr. Margaret Paul (www.innerbonding.com).  Much of her work seems to be focused on finding self-love, rather than trying to “get” someone else to love you.  In this article she talks about what is happening when we ask someone for help.  It is normal, healthy and necessary…

Boundaries are Beautiful

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about boundaries.  Simply put, boundaries are limits we set in place to protect ourselves and our uniqueness, that let other people know how we will and will not be treated.  (And when we don’t have good boundaries of our own, we tend to trod all over other…

Who Do You Protect?

At 50 years old I am struggling with abuse by my parents starting from young childhood and continuing into adulthood. I “kick myself” for not having dealt with this much earlier in my life — in many ways, I’ve suffered so much and I’ve lost so much time.  I kick myself in quotation marks only…

Transplanting

Have you ever had one of those plants that looks like it’s alive, but it’s not really?  It doesn’t necessarily have any brown leaves; some of them could be yellowish when they should be bright green.  But it’s not growing, that plant.  You water it.  But you sort of want to throw it out because…

Doubt

The abuse I endured as a child has impacted me in any number of ways. “Doubt” sums up all of them. In his book, The Great Work of Your Life, Stephen Cope calls doubt the greatest inhibiting factor to a great life. I have to say, this applies to me. It took me eleven years…

Flourish

“flourish: grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favourable environment.”  

Into the Wild

As I take inventory of the way I feel this morning, what I feel is: fed up.  That sums it up, loud and clear.  Fed up. I’m tired of being silent, hands tied, gag in my mouth.  I’m tired of hiding, being a speck, being invisible. I want to move forward.  I want to live…

Recovery

Recovery: 1. a return to a normal state of health, mind or strength. 2. the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost.  

2016: Embodied “Peace”

[This post is a tad long and I hope it doesn’t fall into the category of “TLDR” — “too long; didn’t read!”  I hope it’s of some benefit to anyone reading it.  I know I benefited from the writing and I’m grateful for the opportunity to post it here.  Namaste.  Annie.] With the new year…

God is With Me

Over the years, developing my concept of spirituality has been fundamental to my mental health.*  I remember my first major exploration of the topic.  I was newly separated from my husband and newly moved from a big city where I’d been living for over ten years to live in a much smaller city in a…